


The Kelliott Connection

by wordwinx



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-20 00:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1490362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordwinx/pseuds/wordwinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Growing up in Lima, Ohio, Kurt Hummel has faced many demons including both real and imagined threats to his well-being, but living in New York City has offered him many new opportunities to become his own man.  One fateful night having had enough of hate and fear, Kurt attempted to stop a brutal attack by "gay-bashers" on the street.  Kurt then became their target but not their victim.  The only person who actually seemed to understand the difference was Elliott Gilbert.  The more Kurt realized he was drifting away from old dreams, the more he understood the undeniable connection to his new friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The fact that there is an actual tag on AO3 called "Not Klaine Friendly" should tell me all I need to know about treading tumultuous water, but here I go anyway. This series of an undetermined length is not so much anti-Klaine as it is Pro-Kelliott which although the same thing in some circles is an important distinguishing factor in my aim. I am not going to bash Blaine, but I feel the connection between the characters Elliott Gilbert and Kurt Hummel was left unexplored. I miss Elliott on Glee! I think the episodes after his "last" appearance would have been better had he been included especially where Kurt is concerned. So, that being said, I am going to write what I wanted to see on the show. This fic is a step away from my usual attempts because I've decided not to try to get too much into their heads about what they're thinking but rather narrate what they're doing and saying to one another and let the motivations be up to the readers. My ultimate goal is to write Elliott out of the show in a very, very satisfactory way, but I will keep Kelliott alive as long as it makes sense within the confines of the actual plot. This series is only as good as my weekly inspiration. I could dry up at any moment. We'll see.

“Here. Take this.”

“What is it?”

“Something to help you sleep.”

“I’m pretty tired. I’ll probably drift off okay without it.”

“Yeah, but just because you’re sleeping, it doesn’t mean you’re resting. Come on. Doctor’s orders.” Kurt rolled his eyes and tipped the paper cup. The nurse held the straw in his water while she watched him swallow the tablets.

“Is my dad still here?”

“I don’t know.” She adjusted Kurt’s bed down but not quite flat. “I’ll come back and check on you in a few minutes.”

Kurt stared up at the ceiling and tested the cut on his lip. He winced. Kurt’s phone vibrated on the bedside counter. He scrambled for it and grunted at the tightness of his reach. “Hello?”

“Kurt? Are you all right?”

“Elliott!”

“I’m on my way. I got a layover.”

“Elliott, you don’t have to come. I’ll be released to go home tomorrow.”

“It doesn’t matter. I want to be there. I can’t believe I’m fucking stuck in Jersey!”

“Please, Elliott. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“Are you sure because Rachel said . . .”

“Rachel exaggerates, and you know this.”

“You’re in the hospital.”

“Yes, but not broken, just bent. When you get here, I’ll be good as new.”

“Kurt.”

“Well, almost anyway.”

“You need time to heal – just pace yourself.”

“That’s what you always say.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah – you always say the right thing.”

“Not always.”

“Elliott, that wasn’t your fault.”

“I swear, when I told him to stop trying so hard, I never thought he’d move out. That’s not what I meant at all.”

“I know. I know. That was all on Blaine, but I’m not sorry. Okay? It turned out for the best.”

“I just can’t help but think that maybe if you hadn’t been alone, then . . .”

“Elliott, stop this. I mean it. There’s no connection . . . none. What I did had nothing to do with Blaine or anyone. I made a choice, and I’d do it again. I will not let my life be manipulated by fear.”

“You sound . . .”

“Bitter? My dad gave me kudos for being an adult all of a sudden, but he’s afraid I’m losing my faith in humanity. You see, I have a history of confronting my antagonists. The bullying is supposed to go away when you get out of high school, right? Apparently, I haven’t learned my lesson, still doing ridiculous things.”

“You’re not bitter, Kurt. And, it wasn’t a ridiculous thing. It was a Kurt thing.”

“A Kurt thing?”

“Yeah, a brave thing – maybe even heroic, so stop apologizing.”

“Is that what I’m doing?”

“Whatever it is, you don’t have to do it with me. I don’t need an explanation.”

“So you weren’t going to say I sound bitter or ridiculous or insane or . . .”

“No. I was going to say, you sound stronger – even stronger than I knew before.”

“Well, I haven’t given you the best impression always going to you with my lame problems.”

“You’re not lame, and I don’t mind. I like being there for you. That’s why it’s killing me to be away now.”

“It’s weird.” Kurt’s voice trailed off. He shook his head.

“Tell me.”

“It’s just that it didn’t feel like you were far away. I felt that you were with me the whole time. I was in and out of consciousness. I don’t know. I just kept wondering how I had gotten there, and even though it didn’t all come back to me right away, I knew you’d make sense of it. No matter what happened to me, Elliott would make it all okay.”

“Kurt.”

“Everyone came into the hospital worried and loving but scolding me for being so stupidly reckless, and you’re right, I got defensive – just a different kind of attack. They made me feel like a victim, and I didn’t see it that way.”

“They didn’t understand that you said enough was enough and did something about it.”

“Exactly. It was all about them and the position I’d put them in.”

“They should have put themselves in your shoes.”

“My dad tried, in his way, but he can't see this without thinking of Finn which is totally ironic because Finn is the one who taught me to stand up for myself in the first place."

"You would have made him proud, Kurt."

"I know, but no one . . . you know, celebrated with me. I realize how ungrateful that must sound.”

“Listen . . . when I get there, we’ll celebrate. I’ll take you out to a club and dance all night.”

Kurt smiled. “Just us?”

“Uh . . . well, whoever you want. We can invite . . .”

“I don’t want anyone else.”

It took Elliott a couple beats to respond. “Okay, then . . . just the two of us.”

“I haven’t been going out, just too much drama with everyone.”

“Sometimes I’m almost relieved I didn’t get into NYADA. Rachel especially can be . . .”

“Rachel quit NYADA.”

“What? When?”

“She quit school a couple days ago so she can focus on her career. She said she’d been using NYADA like a safety net or something, and then she said I was doing the same thing . . . running away from my dream.”

“That’s bullshit, Kurt.”

“She said I was wasting my time for nothing.”

“It’s not true. Rachel’s wrong.”

“You know Dani quit, and I don’t blame her, so I’ll completely understand if . . .”

“I’m not quitting you, Kurt. We can still be partners.”

“Partners.”

“Yeah, like a duo. Why not?”

“God, I miss singing with you.”

“We sound fantastic together.”

“I guess we could do some acoustic numbers at open mic bars – get a fresh start.”

“See? Fuck Rachel. The dream is alive and well. You know what?”

“What?”

“I’m writing music that would totally work as an acoustic piece.”

“You are?” Kurt yawned involuntarily.

“Yeah, I’ve been working on a ballad this time.”

Kurt cuddled down into his blanket and yawned. “Really? Would you sing me some of it?”

“You sound really tired, Kurt. Maybe I should just let you get some sleep.”

“No, not yet. Please sing to me.”

“I don’t have my guitar.”

“You don’t need it.”

“Well, okay but it’s still kinda rough, and . . .”

Kurt yawned again. “Elliott.” 

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and sing.”

“Okay . . . here goes.” Elliott began to sing. 'Broken pieces break into me. So imperfectly what you should be. Lay here. It’s safe here. I’ll let you be broken open. Hide here. Confide here. I’ll let you be broken open.' He sang the whole song through then sighed apprehensively. “So what do you think?” 

Kurt sniffed. “I think that was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Kurt . . . I.”

“Listen, they gave me something to help me sleep, and I think it’s starting to kick in. Can we talk more later?”

“Sure. I should let you go.”

“Elliott?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you write it for me?”

Elliott pinched his eyes shut for a second. “Yeah. It’s for you.” There was a long silence. “Kurt?”

Kurt’s voice was barely there. “I love you so much.”

Before Elliott could answer, he heard movements. He whispered, “Kurt?” Then there was even more noise on the other end and muffled voices.

“Oh, hello Mr. Hummel. I thought you’d gone.”

“Nah. I wanted to come back and say goodnight first.” 

The nurse smiled. “I’m afraid you’re too late. He was already drifting off when I came in.” 

“How’s he doin’?”

“Fine. Everything looks fine.”

Elliott listened intently to fragments of their conversation. He was about to disconnect, but they were still talking.

“So he can go home tomorrow?”

“We’ll see. He needs to recuperate.” 

“How long, you think?”

“It depends.”

“Well, he’s got roommates who come and go. Will he be able to be up and around?”

“Oh, sure, he can take care of himself, but I don’t think it’s sunk in how sore he’s going to be.” 

“His ribs?”

“No fractures, but he won’t feel like himself for a while.” 

“I don’t know about that. He must be getting back to his old self again. Look. He fell asleep with the phone in his hand just like home.”

“Oh yeah. I heard him say I love you.”

“That’s funny. I put Blaine in a cab a few minutes ago. He said he’d call tomorrow.”

“Awwww. That’s sweet.”

“I’m worried about those two. They’ve hit a rough patch, and I’m not sure if they can get past it.”

“It’s not my place to say, but sometimes a traumatic event can bring two people a lot closer very suddenly.”

Elliott bit his lip. He disconnected and sat for a minute just staring at his phone then he whispered, “I love you too.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt was in a very delicate situation. His relationship with Blaine, lately seemed as bruised as his ribs. He had always relied on Elliott for advice, but under their new partnership, it might be impossible for Elliott to stay objective. Deciding to become a duo would allow Kurt and Elliott to make beautiful music . . . and sing together too.

There was no answer at the door. Elliott knocked again as he opened it. “Kurt? Guys? Hey, anybody home?”

Elliott clicked the door shut behind him and scanned the open loft. His eyes rested on the living area. He put down his bag and smiled when he saw Kurt’s fuzzy socks sticking out from under the blanket covering the couch. He was startled when the toilet flushed.

“Oh hey, Elliott! I didn’t hear you come in.” Sam stepped into the main room and pulled earphones off his head.

“Hi, Sam. Did you move back?”

“Nah. I was just taking a turn watching the champ here.”

“The champ?”

Sam wearing nothing but jockey shorts made a mock one-two punch at Elliott’s stomach, and Elliott reflexively bent slightly still not getting it. “Balladeer by day, street fighter by night!”

“Oh.”

“So, Rachel’s at rehearsals, and Artie’s at school. I don’t have to be at my shoot until . . .” Sam checked the clock on the stove in the kitchen. “Shit! I better get movin’!” 

He called from the back. “When did you get in?”

“Uh, about an hour ago.”

“So, you been home yet?”

“No. I uh, . . .”

“Well, it’s swell of you to come over and babysit.”

“Actually that’s not . . . I hardly think Kurt needs a babysitter.”

“Ha, just wait til his pain meds wear off.” Sam appeared in jeans, a t-shirt, and some kind of ratty slip-ons. He grabbed his wallet and his phone. 

“Wait, are you leaving?”

“Yeah, I gotta shoot, man. Artie was supposed to be back, but he’s probably hangin’ with some girl from his film class. You’ll watch him, right?” Same nodded toward the couch.

“Sure, I guess so.”

Sam gave Elliott a friendly punch in the arm. “Cool!”

“Wait a minute. Where are his meds again?”

“Oh right.” Sam hustled into the kitchen and grabbed an apple off the counter. “Right here. Dose on the bottle.” He whizzed by Elliot again.

“How long has he been asleep?”

Sam spun around at the door with the apple in his teeth. He took a huge bite and tried to talk around it. “I dunno, a couple hours I guess.” He smiled and waved. “See ya.”

“Okay then.” Elliott went back to the kitchen and checked the prescription bottle. He raised his eyebrows. It was pretty heavy stuff every four hours as needed. He got a drink of water and wandered into the living room. When he finally got a good look at Kurt’s face, he needed to sit down. A couple of the cuts looked deep enough to scar, and the bruises had settled in a bit darker than Elliott expected. Kurt had played it off like it was no big deal, but Elliott saw with his own eyes that whoever it was had beaten the hell out of him. Kurt was so still, Elliott actually rose up to check he was breathing. He perched on the floor and tucked his big booted feet under the coffee table. He touched Kurt’s pale hand then rested his head on the blanket at Kurt’s hip and fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After what seemed like merely a moment, Kurt stirred. Elliott lifted up and stretched. He noticed that the sun was lower in the sky and twinkling off the beaded curtain to Kurt’s room. It made the loft look magical, timeless.

“Elliott?” Kurt’s voice was raspy.

Every line in Elliott’s face smiled. “Hey, you.” He rolled up onto his knees in the cramped space and held out his arms. “Can I?”

“You’d better.” They hugged, but Elliott was tentative, not wanting to hurt him. Kurt knew no caution. He wrapped his arms around Elliott’s neck and clung to him with all his might. 

“Are you okay?”

“I am now.” Kurt squeezed him even closer. 

“Hey, hey. Shhhh. I gotcha.”

“Just don’t let go.”

“I’m right here.”

Elliott held on until Kurt’s fists finally opened flat and warm. “I hoped you’d come.”

“Of course, I came.”

Kurt turned his face into the curve of Elliott’s shoulder. His hand crept to the back of Elliott’s neck and splayed wide from collar to hairline. It was the slightest of movements like the flutter of a butterfly’s wing, but the effect on Elliott was intense and immediate. 

Elliott dipped his chin as Kurt’s fingers tangled into his hair. A small, helpless sound escaped just before Kurt turned his head and parted Elliott’s lips with his own. Elliott kissed back. Kurt winced and pulled off.

“Sorry. I’ve never kissed a boy with a busted lip before.” Elliott touched it with is fingertip then followed so softly with a make-it-all-better kiss. Kurt leaned into it and gasped. 

“It’s my ribs. Dammit.”

“Lemme get your meds.”

“Don’t go.”

“I’m just gonna go to the kitchen. I’ll be right back.”

“Wait. Help me up.”

“I can bring it to you.”

“No, the doctor said I have to get up and walk around. I just need a little help leaning forward. That’s the part that hurts the most.”

Kurt braced himself with Elliott’s help. He swung his legs to the floor and carefully stood up. It took him a few seconds of short, shallow breaths to straighten his back. Elliott sort of made a circle of support around Kurt’s body barely touching him. Kurt took hold of Elliott’s arm and they headed slowly to the kitchen in an awkward shuffle.

Kurt hissed. “Ow.”

“It’s worse than you let on.”

“I was lying there too long. That’s all. I just need some drugs and some ice.”

“If you say so.” Elliott got him some water and a bag of ice in a towel. He rubbed the small of Kurt’s back while he stood there. Kurt seemed unsteady. “How do you feel?”

“Like a hypocrite.”

Elliott leaned against the sink. “I told Blaine I didn’t think of you that way. I guess that wasn't completely true.”

“Yeah, well, I promised Blaine that things wouldn’t change between us just because he was moving out.” 

“Maybe my first impression was right. Too young?”

“I don’t know, too . . . something. I thought Blaine was my one and only, but maybe it’s just that he was my first . . . my first everything.”

“Oh.” Elliott looked at his feet.

“Did you feel that way about your first?”

“First boyfriend? Or first time?”

“Your first time wasn’t with your first boyfriend?”

“No, and it was awful.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I definitely learned what NOT to do. I guess I was wiser when I met someone special, but even then . . . I dunno. He cheated on me, so . . .”

“Blaine cheated too. Now look at me.”

“Kurt, I feel funny talking to you about this. I want what’s best for you, but that doesn’t mean I can ignore what I want myself.”

“What do you want?” Elliott looked away, but Kurt came closer. He smoothed the front of Elliott’s shirt across his broad chest and whispered. “Tell me what you want.”

Elliott put his hands on either side of Kurt’s waist and pulled him gently forward. “More . . .” Kurt took Elliott’s face into his hands and kissed his mouth. Elliott purposefully avoided the bruises. He moved to Kurt’s neck where his lips could explore more freely, and Kurt shuddered. “Kurt, you’re in no condition to . . .”

“I know. God, I must look a wreck.”

“Actually, you look all tough and kind of bad ass and it’s freaking me out how hot I think it is.” Kurt blushed. Elliott caressed Kurt’s cheek with his thumb. He slipped it into the corner of Kurt’s mouth, then moistened his lips with it. Elliott licked in without pressure, just flickers of soft, wet darts with his tongue that made Kurt go weak in the knees. Elliott embraced him, but Kurt moaned. “We can’t do this. I’m hurting you.”

“Always the gentleman. It would be so much easier if I just wanted to fuck you.”

“Jesus, Kurt, I don’t think I can be casual about this.”

“I’m sorry. Look at me, throwing myself at you.”

“I came over here to see if you’re okay. I never intended to . . .”

“I know. I know.”

“I didn’t know what to expect. I mean, last night on the phone . . .”

“I said I loved you.”

“I didn’t think anything of it, Kurt. You were half asleep.”

“But I’m wide awake now, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

“I feel like it was the song that made you say it.”

“I’m not talking about last night.”

“No?”

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the audition.”

Elliott searched Kurt’s face. “But you rejected me.”

“Hey, let me tell ya, Rachel is not the only competitive bitch in town. Starchild intimidated me, but it was you underneath that got me here.” Kurt touched the center of his chest.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay. I know it wasn’t reciprocated.”

“Are you kidding? Did you see me practically climb over the desk and wail about makin’ love? That energy doesn’t come out of nowhere. We had chemistry right away.”

“I thought I felt something electric at Spotlight, but then I stopped getting any signals after that.”

“Santana said you were engaged, and I just don’t play that way . . . usually.”

“So what about now?”

“It’s just getting harder to keep my distance. I think the music keeps us connected, you know? But, I don’t want to get hurt. You’re not available, Kurt. We don’t have a love story like you and Blaine.”

“Then what do we have? I don’t know what’s real anymore. When I fell in love with Blaine, it was like maybe life could be the fairytale after all. That was all well and good in Lima, but here . . . Jesus, here . . . there’s no fairytale. I know that even more after what’s happened.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. Rachel may have had a point. A dream takes work, and honestly, what have I done?”

“A lot of things. Pamela Lansbury may be over, but you haven’t given up. Look how many times you changed course in order to keep it going.”

“That is exactly my point. The band. I started the band then made adjustments over and over all in order to keep the dream alive, my dream . . . the band. The band! Where in any of those plans did I work toward being Blaine’s husband?”

Elliott shook his head. “It doesn’t have to be one or the other. A person can have both a professional and a personal life.”

“Don’t say that to Rachel or the universe will implode.”

“You’re selling yourself short if you don’t believe you can have it all.”

“But I didn’t even try! I put it off, then I started to dread him coming and then he was here, but we still weren’t together. I don’t want to get married, at least not right now. It’s Blaine’s dream not mine.”

“I understand that.”

“God, I finally said it out loud.” 

“What are you going to do?” 

“I don’t know. It feels like everything is coming apart.”

“I think maybe it’s all finally coming together. That can be scary too.”

“See? Things only make sense when you’re here with me.” Kurt stepped into Elliott’s arms and pressed in as closely and carefully as he could. Kurt, in a thin tank and sleep pants conformed easily to the rigid barrier of Elliott’s buttoned shirt and belted jeans. It was as if they were melting into one another. Elliott’s breath was hot on Kurt’s cheek, his body aware of every line and curve, warm and aroused. Elliott moved his hands up and down Kurt’s back dipping ever lower until he scooped up under Kurt’s ass and squeezed. Kurt lifted up onto his toes and rubbed against Elliott’s fly with a maddening intimacy. Kurt squinted shut his eyes. With the dull ache of his ribs and the sharp bite of his lip, he committed fully to their kiss . . . bruises be damned. 

Elliott took Kurt’s hands into his and tried to move him away. “I should go.”

“No, please don’t.”

“I don’t trust myself. You need someone else to talk to.”

“I don’t want to talk anymore . . . not another word.” They kissed again. This time, Kurt was practically climbing him.

“You’re makin’ it hard.”

Kurt was breathless. “I noticed.”

“Kurt.”

“Elliott, this feels so right. It doesn’t have to be a love story.”

“You have to believe me when I say that I want to stay, that I want to carry you off to the bedroom and not look back, but I can’t. You finally claimed your independence in, I think, the bravest way I’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t mean you’re invincible – not your heart anyway. You have to talk to Blaine.”

“I don’t know how to tell him.”

“Do you really think he’s going to be surprised?”

“No . . . sad but not surprised.”

“Do you still love him?”

“Yes. I don’t know. Of course I do, but what if he doesn’t want me anymore?”

“He moved out. Maybe putting off the engagement will make sense too.”

“Blaine’s not used to seeing me take the initiative in our relationship. You see, he was my rock, my protector, but I don’t want that anymore. I don’t know if he’s ready to see us as equals.”

“That’s why you have to be completely honest, not just to him but to yourself. You have to know what you want.”

“I want to better myself – just me, as an individual and not just mentally strong but physically stronger too, like training. You know? The outside matches the inside.”

Elliott smiled. “You really are the champ.”

“What?”

“It’s something Sam said when I got here.”

“Now there’s incentive to get in shape – a model living with your boyfriend.”

“I say, go for it. I can definitely see you all buffed out.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. Who knows, maybe Blaine will appreciate a new you.”

“But where will you be while I’m getting my shit together?”

“Nearby . . . waiting . . . writing music. I really want to keep singing with you.”

“I want that too. We have to keep singing no matter what.”

“I just want you to know I will support anything you decide even it if means I’m out.”

“That won’t happen – not out of our partnership . . . not out of my life. The truth is, I feel like I’m drifting away from everyone but you.”

“I’ve never felt closer to anyone else. It’s more than the music we make together. It’s a connection. I don’t know. I’m not comfortable with labels, but if what we have is as real and as strong as we think it is, it’ll last.”

Kurt and Elliott smiled at one another, their faces open pages. “You know, you promised me we’d celebrate when you got back.”

“I think going dancing is out of the question, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but I can make you dinner. You hungry?”

“Starving, but don’t go to any trouble. I can grab some take out or something.”

“That won’t be necessary. Look.” Kurt opened the fridge, and Elliott peered in.

“Shit. It looks like Pinterest exploded in there.”

“Everyone brought a covered dish, although I think Mercedes is trying to pass off that potato salad from the deli as her own recipe.”

Elliott laughed and started loading the table with containers. Kurt got a couple plates and silverware. “Sit down, Kurt. I got this.”

“Always the gentleman.”

“Not always.” There was a sexy lilt of innuendo in Elliott’s voice.

“Oh really?”

“Kurt, it’s important that you understand where I’m coming from.” Elliott motioned for Kurt to sit down like he had told him to do, then he continued to set the table and pour drinks. “I respect what you and Blaine are trying to build together, but you can’t deny that I’m in the way.”

“Elliott.” 

“Hold on, let me finish. Now that I know you’re . . . you know, into me too, I’m on your side and only your side. I’m not going to butt in, but if you decide you want to be with me, then I’m not going to do the gentlemanly thing and bow out.” 

“So if I come to you, I mean not just to sing but like it was today . . .”

“Let’s just say, the next time I make you moan, it won’t be for your ribs.”

Kurt swallowed hard. "Understood."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things seemed to go back to normal in the worst way. It was just another night, just another gig . . . or was it?

Elliott and Kurt tumbled out of the cab and into Elliott’s apartment building. Their boyish smiles were out of place with the fierce leather boots and spiked garments they wore. Elliott worked a fringed harness that punctuated the sashay of his hips with a flurry of exclamation marks. Kurt modeled a vest that accentuated his muscular arms, striking a pose every few seconds. They sang as they climbed the stairs.

“Take me underground.”

“Deep under the street.”

“Come on and take me, take me down.”

“Where the freaks like us can meet.”

“Turn it up.”

“Turn it up.”

“Turn it up.”

“Turn it WAY up.”

“Don’t stop the beat.”

“Come on and take me, take me out.”

“Coz I’m feeling so shady, lately.”

They danced into the apartment. Elliott went straight to the kitchen and tossed Kurt a bottle of water. They both chugged in silence for a moment then took deep satisfying breaths.

“That was fun.”

“I had such a good time, Elliott!”

“I told you, you were a rocker at heart.”

“We should have done that a long time ago. Who knew we’d have an audience at a dance club?”

Elliott put an envelope of money on the counter. “Well, the DJ gets a cut so the piano bars are more lucrative with tips, but now that I’m doing some session work, we could hold auditions again for a backing band. There are a few players who want to jam with me.”

Kurt gave Elliott a long salacious look up and down his body. “I’ll bet.”

Elliott rolled his eyes. “Very funny.” He kicked off his boots so Kurt did the same. 

“Hey, thanks for letting me borrow this.” He took off the vest. 

“Oh, you can keep it.”

“No, that’s okay.”

“Really. It looks good on you.” 

“Well, thanks.” He started to shrug it back on then stopped. “It’s hot in here, though. Isn’t it?”

“Suit yourself.” Elliott opened a window and nervously picked up a few things laying around. 

“Don’t go to any trouble. I just thought I’d come up for a minute since I borrowed your clothes . . . . and your jewelry, and the makeup.” He laughed nervously. “I won’t stay long.”

“You can stay as long as you want.” Elliott’s offer hung heavily in the air. “Are you hungry?”

“Nah. I’m good.”

“Still on that health kick?”

Kurt patted his stomach. “I just don’t need as much. Besides, Blaine’s eating enough for us both.”

“I thought that was all over.”

“It’s a work in progress. He gets so stressed out about everything. I’m worried that he’s going to turn inward again. It puts a real strain on our relationship. Last time, he barely touched me. I even caught him watching porn.”

Elliott flopped down onto the sofa. “Hey, no judgment here.”

“Well, I’m not saying I haven’t gone there when we were long distance.”

“And, so . . .”

Kurt took the other end and folded his legs. “He shouldn’t need it when we’re together.”

“I think you’re making too big a deal about it. Maybe he’s just bored.” Kurt frowned. “Hey, don’t get mad. Vanilla’s nice.”

“It’s not like we have an opportunity for gourmet sex, you know? The loft is a revolving door, and at Blaine’s . . . Jesus, with Mercedes the resident chastity case, Sam is so fucking horny all the time he stares like he’s ready for a three.”

Elliott had his lips pressed tightly together. “I, uh . . . that’s a tough break.”

“You don’t even know the half of it. We have to be fast or we have to be quiet or . . . You’re laughing.”

“I’m sorry. It’s funny. Did you ever consider the fact that you guys all spend a little too much time together?”

“Probably. There’s an expectation, I guess. We sort of feed off each other’s creativity.”

“You feed off each other’s anxiety. It’s classic co-dependence.”

“What are you, a shrink now?”

Elliott’s eyes flashed up and back down again. “I’m just saying that negative energy as a motivator is inevitably suffocating.”

“You can’t possibly understand.” Kurt gestured in a big circle. “You’ve got your own place.”

“You don’t really know what it’s like, Kurt.”

“Oh it must be terrible! What’s the matter? Too much space? Too much privacy?”

“Having my own place just means I have no money for anything else. I realize now how important it is to have a solid income. I don't want to live this way forever. I’ve had to make a lot of changes just to stay in school.” Elliott hesitated. “I switched my major.” 

“What? Why?”

“I’ve got a better shot making a career outside the music industry.”

“What else is there?”

“I’m looking at psychology. I already have a lot of the classes, and my advisor said . . .”

“But, performance is who you are. It’s . . .”

“This is not Glee club, Kurt.” Elliott made jazz hands. “I’m not reaching for the stars like you.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

“I’m just not as optimistic as you are. I’m barely making ends meet right now, just getting by until I get out of school and then if I’m lucky, I’ll get to sing on the side.”

“I guess I’ve been pushing you into doing gigs with me without thinking if it was what you wanted.”

“The difference is you want to do the gigs for fun to build your brand or whatever, but I have to. I need the money.”

“It’s not all about the money. Don’t tell me you don’t dream, Elliott.”

“Sure I do, but . . . Kurt, you have this dramatic way of narrating your life like it’s this epic saga, but that’s not how I see it. You’ve got NYADA and a good job and the loft and a boyfriend, but I don’t. I’m in survival mode right now.” Elliott went back to the kitchen to throw his water bottle away and get something stronger. Kurt went over when he saw Elliott pour two shots. Elliott raised a toast. “Let’s talk about something else.” 

Kurt downed his and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I didn’t know you were struggling like this.”

“That’s because your biggest, most challenging problem right now is finding enough time to have sex with Blaine.”

“You’ve never been jealous before.” 

It was Elliott’s turn to frown. “Don’t.”

“There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“No, there isn’t.” Elliott pushed past him and returned to the living room.

“I tell you everything about me, but you’ve obviously been holding out.”

“Leave it alone, Kurt. I just don’t like to talk about myself as much as you do.” 

“So now I’m a nymphomaniac AND a narcissist.”

“Of course not. Just forget about it.” Elliott seemed to be rearranging his albums.

“I think I didn’t ask before because I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer.”

“Ask me what?”

“If you have someone . . . special.”

Elliott huffed. “You know how I feel. Are you fishing for a compliment?”

“No, I . . .”

“I’m not a monk if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I guess it’s none of my business.”

“You just want to know who I fuck, don’t you?”

“I just . . .” Kurt returned to the sofa and picked up a pillow. “Are you safe?”

“I’m not stupid, Kurt.” Elliott shrugged. “I go out sometimes, but I don’t always come home alone. I’m the guy with his own place, right? So no obnoxious roomies or dorm security. At least this way, it’s my call.”

“Oh, I see. So it’s a wink and a nod at the bar then back here and hop in the sack.”

“It isn’t like that.”

“So what’s it like?”

“I don’t take them to bed. It’s too personal.” Elliott crossed his arms. “You think being cautious is about timing a quickie before Rachel gets home. You have no fucking clue how careful, how . . .” Elliott stomped over to the window pulling the blinds on the night. “Nevermind.”

“I can guess the rest.”

“Are you shocked? Disappointed?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this side of you. You’re always so positive and so . . . together.”

“You know what? I’m actually not. I just don’t usually show what’s underneath.” 

"So why now?"

"I don't know. Like I said before, it's getting harder to keep my distance."

"Elliott."

"I need to move on. I just don't know the next step."

“I can’t believe how selfish I’ve been. I never see your side of it.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does too. Come on, Elliott. Let it out.”

“You don’t need me to burden you with . . .”

“Elliott. Please. I can tell you’re upset. Tell me. Trust me.”

Elliott started to sing. ‘Welcome to my world of truth. I don’t want to hide any part of me from you. I’m standing here with no apologies. It’s just not that easy for me, underneath . . .’ 

After he’d bared his soul with every anguishing word of the song, Elliott looked away. Kurt went to him. He put his hand on Elliott’s back, but he flinched. “I haven’t been fair to you . . . not honest. The last time things got real with us after the hospital, we ended up in each other’s arms, and I felt . . .”

Elliott sighed and turned around to face him. “Look. I understand that you’re sorry it happened.”

“That isn’t it, not exactly. I was afraid of how good it felt because I knew I’d been holding back so much for so long. My friends didn’t recognize me. They kept saying the attack changed me. It was easier to fall back into old patterns with Blaine.”

“Maybe that’s the best thing. You really don’t need me anymore.”

“Yes, I do. And, now I think maybe you need me too.” Suddenly Kurt had Elliott’s full attention. “When I decided to make some changes, you encouraged me to go for it, but Blaine felt threatened. When I realized how vulnerable he was, I had to give him a part of myself to build him back up. He made me promise that I’d never leave him, and I gave him that even though it felt wrong as I said it. You know the engagement isn’t what I wanted, but I couldn’t comfort him without . . . losing something. With you I don’t ever feel that way. No matter what I give you, I always get something back. You said you wanted more. I have more . . . so much more to give.”

Elliott stepped backward. “I don't know where this is going. I can’t make you any promises.”

Kurt stepped forward. “I’m not asking for promises.”

“It’s just me.”

“You’re enough.”

The words they spoke fell perfectly into place between them. When they collided, the momentum nearly lifted Kurt off the floor. They kissed hard and hungry then stopped suddenly. Kurt swayed, but Elliott’s voice was firm. “This isn’t a hook up.”

“You’re damn right it’s not.”

The next kiss was softer, deeper. The line of Elliott’s body from chest to thigh was so formidable, staying upright was practically impossible. Kurt bent to him. He peeled off Elliott’s shirt then pawed off his own as Elliott mouthed his bare skin. They had only caught glimpses of nakedness when they were changing clothes for a show. Now their hands were looking for everything they hadn’t dared to see before. Elliott walked Kurt backward until they fell onto the bed. Kurt wriggled toward the headboard where no one else had been allowed to go. 

Elliott climbed over him. “Is this okay?” Kurt nodded and pulled him down. Their belt buckles clicked. They explored each other a long time before Elliott finally palmed Kurt’s fly. Kurt moaned and rose up into it. The lamp from the living room kept Elliott shadowed in silhouette. He started a rhythm of tug and glide that made Kurt’s eyelids flutter. “Do you always close your eyes?”

“Uh . . . I . . . don’t know.”

“Open your eyes. Watch me.”

In spite of the darkness, Kurt could see the sparkle of Elliott’s smile. “Ah . . . ah . . . Elliott. I can’t. It’s too good.” Kurt bit his lip and rocked from side to side which only made the friction more intense. Kurt squeezed Elliott’s shoulders. “Ah . . . I’m gonna, mmmmm come in my pants.”

Elliott deftly pulled him out then with his lips grazing the shell of Kurt’s ear, he whispered, “You don’t have to be quiet.”

That did it. Kurt came at max volume. “Ohhhmmmfff fffUUUUUUCK!!!”

Elliott worked him gently through the aftershocks then nuzzled into his neck. Elliott’s knee came up as he rolled his hips against Kurt’s still-trembling body. He ground down, but Kurt pushed him off. At first Elliott looked confused, but then Kurt grinned and straddled him. “Is this okay?”

Elliott chuckled softly. “It's way more an okay.”

Kurt sat back on Elliott’s thighs and stared in awe, exposing the glory of Elliott’s body. Kurt touched him, tentatively then Elliott covered Kurt’s hand with his own, guiding him just right. The stutter of the leather under Kurt’s seat complemented the wet snick of his hand. They kept a perfect beat together. When Elliott succumbed in a chorus of pleasure, he arched his back then grabbed Kurt’s arms and pulled himself up. They sat face to face in the middle of the bed, messy and breathless. Kurt was still buzzed on an orgasmic high but when he looked into Elliott’s eyes, he sobered swiftly. 

“I’ll get us a towel.”

“I’ve got it. Come on.” Kurt followed Elliott into the tiny bathroom to clean up. At first they moved nonchalantly as if it were no big deal, then they smiled almost bashfully at the sheer volume of evidence otherwise. Their skin was rubbed to a rosy glow by the time they were finished. 

“I should, uh . . . look for my clothes.”

“Wait, you’ve got sex head. Hold still.” Elliott wet his hands in the sink and smoothed Kurt’s hair. They caught each other’s reflections in the mirror. “I would say you’re free to stay, but we both know that isn’t true.”

“Elliott, I don’t . . .”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“This . . . tonight was so . . .”

“I know.”

“I have to go.”

“I know.”

Kurt dressed while Elliott called a cab. "I can take the subway."

"Not this time of night and not looking like that." Elliott counted out a few bills from the envelope he left on the counter. “Here. This is your half.”

Kurt took it then nudged Elliott mischievously. “I feel so cheap.”

“Fuck it. Take it all.” Elliott started stuffing the bills into Kurt’s clothes, playfully tickling him in the process.

Kurt embraced him. Elliott held on as long as he could then stepped away. “Let me walk you down.” They stood outside on the stoop, staring up at the stars . . . waiting, awkwardly silent until the cab pulled up to the curb.

Kurt turned suddenly. “I’m not sorry, Elliott.”

Elliott shook his head. “I hope there comes a day that you don’t see a reason to be.”


End file.
